Workplace bullying in big law is a persistent issue that's far from new

Trembling, I entered the managing partner's office. Days before, I'd turned 26. He was in his 50's, the same age as my father. He regarded me -- a lowly first-year associate -- stone-faced. I glanced at my meticulously prepared notes, took a breath and spoke.

"In the nine months I've worked at this firm, I've been subjected to threats to 'ruin my career' and other unfair treatment to which I put the firm on notice by speaking to a partner numerous times. It continued nonetheless. I've seen the memo Jasper Brook wrote to you. I object to..."

Despite the partner's prodding, I refused to reveal the name of the staff person who'd seen on a shared printer Brook's inappropriate memo to the managing partner, quickly made a copy, and secretly brought it to me, risking her job to do so. Instead, I delineated unrelenting examples of slights, belittling, and rumors, culminating in the Brook memo, which -- in its entirety -- made shocking references to my romantic life as reasons for not wanting me transferred into his department. (Before joining the firm, I'd dated a popular associate there. After we split, he spent the summer I was studying for the bar exam disparaging me to associates and partners.)

Despite the truth of my statements to the managing partner, I grew teary. Like most women who cry in professional settings, I began apologizing, diluting the power of my words.

I hated myself then.

I felt vulnerable, infantilized.

I was frightened and so frustrated.

I never wanted it to get to this point but I was left with no alternative. After nine awful months, that last-straw memo forced me to raise with the most powerful partner the litany of wrongs I'd endured.

What would happen to my career now?

According to a new report, almost a quarter of attorneys last year were victims of workplace bullying, defined in the report as "improper exercise of power by one person over another, tak[ing] the form of aggressive acts or comments meant to intimidate, humiliate, embarrass, or control another person." Conducted by the Illinois Supreme Court Commission on Professionalism, the survey of more than 6,000 lawyers determined that women, racial minorities, LGBTQ+ and younger lawyers were most likely to be victims of workplace bullying.

One of the first about bullying in the legal profession, the Illinois study is important. But for me, the findings come 30 years too late.

As a brand-new attorney at "Schiffer Mulligan," I experienced insidious, degrading treatment by other lawyers there. It was 1993 and I was 25.

We all know about the Harvey Weinstein, and the #metoo stories of overt sexual harassment. But I was not groped or propositioned. Rather, I experienced repeated micro-harassments so subtle as to be plausibly denied. Yet I was emotionally shredded by these actions. What I experienced in Big Law is hard to capture in a hashtag, but it's real and abusive.

What happened at Schiffer Mulligan derailed my whole life, and several experts I interviewed for my new memoir "Look What You Made Me Do: Confronting Heartbreak & Harassment in Big Law" confirmed the Illinois report's conclusion: workplace bullying remains pervasive.

Given the personal nature of what happened to me, I of course considered fictionalizing the experience for my book.

But...

Firm administration inviting every incoming first-year associate to a firm social event except one?

Grown professionals drawing devil horns and a mustache on a young colleague's photo on display in a public space in the office?

A male partner specializing in employment law putting misogynistic thoughts about a female associate's private life in a memo in writing?

The firm denying the woman's claims of a hostile work environment (despite written proof and a meticulous cataloging of events) and then immediately changing firm policy to disadvantage future victims?

Readers would call that novel unbelievable.

Back then, on the heels of the Clarence Thomas hearings, everyone understood that quid pro quo sexual harassment -- the "have sex with me or you'll never make partner" behavior -- is wrong. The episodes I endured might seem minor in comparison. But their cumulative effect over months, orchestrated by multiple lawyers, were devastating to my confidence and career. The Brook memo was the culmination of -- and the smoking gun showing -- the long pattern of bullying.

After that tearful meeting with the managing partner, Schiffer Mulligan brought a partner up from the Los Angeles office to investigate my long-documented assertion of a hostile work environment. This "investigation" included him enjoying a social lunch with the very partner who'd written that last-straw memo.

A few hours later, even though not one person interviewed claimed the many events I described hadn't happened, that LA lawyer -- with a partnership interest in the firm being accused -- informed me that I had not experienced a hostile work environment. I was made to feel that I was too sensitive, whiny and bothersome.

Yet days later, Schiffer Mulligan leadership formerly implemented mandatory arbitration agreements for all associates and staff. (These contracts of adhesion are largely prohibited in employment settings today.)

Bewildered, I consulted two plaintiff-side employment lawyers. Both affirmed I had a strong case against the firm. But each also asked if I ever wanted to work in law again since pursuing a claim would result in my being blackballed by the legal community.

I'd just passed the grueling bar exam and spent untold sums on law school. If I wasn't a lawyer, how would I support myself?

I chose not to pursue my legitimate legal claim and, soon after, quietly left the firm. What I experienced so devastated my confidence that three years later I abandoned altogether the legal career I'd worked so hard for.

While writing "Look What You Made Me Do..." I researched the oath that attorneys must take to be admitted to the California Bar. It requires a promise to conduct themselves "at all times with dignity, courtesy and integrity." If you extend these ethical standards to the treatment of colleagues, bullying has no place in a law firm.