Why your EQ might be your secret weapon as a new attorney

It's official--for those who passed the bar exam and have been sworn in, Jan. 1 marks the beginning of your first year of practice as licensed attorneys. If you are among this group, congratulations. As you embark on this rite of passage, you will receive a lot of unsolicited advice. Here's one suggestion you may not hear as frequently: Hone your Emotional Intelligence skills, also known as your Emotional Quotient (EQ). 

What is Emotional Intelligence? I agree with the Oxford Dictionary definition: "the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically." 

In the sea of book smart people in your law firms, having strong Emotional Intelligence will set you apart from other junior attorneys. It is the thing that will help you to bond with your fellow associates and with the partners you work for. It is the foundation upon which organic and unforced mentorship is formed. Your professional success will not be dictated exclusively by your skills as an attorney. Having good skills is a must. What will distinguish you in a law firm is how others think of you and whether they want to work with you and be associated with you. These same rules apply to your future clients. There are ample great practitioners in the market. What keeps your clients coming back is your connection with them. Given this, you cannot consider EQ an afterthought. If it's a trait you already possess, then employ it strategically. If it's a trait you're lacking, then consider it a skill that you must cultivate, and treat it as important as brief writing and perfecting oral argument. 

A lot of smart people become lawyers. But in my experience, many attorneys struggle with exercising high EQ. They have trouble reading the room. They miss non-verbal cues reflected in body language, tone of voice, and the real meaning behind what is said and unsaid. They miss opportunities to make emotional connections. The lawyer who can pair superior practical skills with strong EQ is in their own class. They're the attorneys who can understand what's unspoken at mediation and get the case settled. They actually hear what the client is saying and, therefore, can provide satisfying advice. They own the power of persuasion--be it with a judge or opposing counsel or a witness you need information from.

It took me some time to realize it, but I eventually recognized that having high EQ was one of my superpowers. Starting out, I put my nose to the proverbial grindstone and worked very hard. But I also laid the groundwork to build emotional connections with the partners and associates I worked for. I gravitate naturally towards those with high EQ. They eventually became my advocates and remain my mentors today. During an interview that ultimately led to a lateral job change, one future boss asked me, "what sets you apart from other associates?" Without much thought, I responded, "I can read people." My answer surprised us both.

I did not appreciate it at the time, but my EQ differentiated me from other junior attorneys. It was why the partner felt comfortable letting me talk to the client unsupervised. And let me handle a hearing alone. And why I got to second chair a federal trial. My EQ continues to serve me well every day as a law firm partner. It helps me communicate clearly with my team members. And it's why my clients continue to seek my help with sensitive and complicated matters that pose tough legal questions but are often equally fraught with interpersonal challenges. At their core, so many legal disputes are really about a breakdown in the human dynamic. What clients really need is an attorney with enough EQ to help them craft a holistic solution. The sooner you grasp that as an associate attorney, the sooner that you too will benefit from this legal practice superpower.